The Session from Hell
This is a fictionalized account
of a bridge session played with a most unusual partner.
After a pre-game strategy session filled with new conventions and ideas, your eyes glaze over
and your mind swirls.
You are fine shape for the first hand !
Completed Tuesday, March 4th, 1997
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The Session From Hell – Board 1
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Board: 1
|
Vulnerability: None
|
Dealer: RHO
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
In a regional matchpoint event, you hold:
J x
|
K J 10 x x x
|
A x
|
x x x
|
The good news is that, by reputation, two of the three
others at the table are "solid citizens".
The bad news is that the
"full-mooner" at the table is your partner, and that you have 26 more
boards with him after this one.
(I will point this out in order to
reproduce the conditions at the table accurately — not to serve as a
clue to the proper course of action here.) Outnumbered, you have
acquiesced to playing with this maniac because you, an inveterate
backgammon player, are wedded to the theory that
3-to-1 constitutes
acceptable odds.
RHO | You | LHO | 3rdO
|
2
| 2
| Pass
| 3
|
3
| Pass
| 4NT
| 5
|
6
| Pass
| Pass
| 7
|
7
| Dble
| Pass
| Pass
|
Pass
|
At favourable vulnerability, you are on lead after this
"standard" 2
♣ game-forcing auction:
Yes, 4NT was Key Card Blackwood.
You ask LHO what the 6♠ reply
meant and both opponents shrug.
No sense asking about 7♠.
You Doubled 7♠ to prevent partner from bidding 8♥.
So what do you lead ?
The Session From Hell – Board 2
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Board: 2
|
Vulnerability: N-S (Them)
|
Dealer: You
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
A Q x x x
| A x x
| x x
| K x x
|
|
You | LHO | 3rdO | RHO
|
1
| Pass
| 2
| Pass
|
2
| Pass
| 3
| Pass
|
??
|
|
Having already dropped one board to the field, you pick up:
⇒
Some variation on the following auction occurs at virtually
every
other table in the event:
2♣ was NOT 2-over-1 game-forcing, so you might expect hands
such as the following from partner:
Responder A:
K x x x
| x x x
| Q x x
| A J x
|
| |
Responder B:
K J x
| J x x
| K x x
| Q J x x
|
| |
Responder C:
K J x
| x x x
| x x
| A Q x x x
|
|
Only the last hand C gives you a great chance for game,
where Responder's 2♣ reply is "real"
and not merely preparatory to an invitational Spade raise.
So, had this auction come up at your table, what would you have
bid ?
The Session From Hell – Board 3
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Board: 3
|
Vulnerability: Both
|
Dealer: North
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
Pard
9 8 4
| K J 10 9 6 4
| 3 2
| 3 2
|
|
Pard | North | You | South
|
| 1NT
| 2NT
| 4
|
Pass
| Pass
| Pass
|
|
Having struggled back to average in this regional matchpoint
event, your space cadet Partner now has a chance to go ahead of the
field with this hand:
With both sides vulnerable, the auction proceeds:
North opened a weak 1NT.
You are playing "bid what you've got" against it.
Your 2NT call showed the minors.
What should partner lead ?
The Session From Hell – Board 4
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Board: 4
|
Vulnerability: Both
|
Dealer: You
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
K 10 x
| A K 10 x x
| x x
| A J x
|
|
You | North | Pard | South
|
1
| Pass
| 2
| Pass
|
??
|
|
After exchanging pleasantries with your new opponents you
pick up:
As the opponents pass throughout,
your 1
♥ opening bid is
raised constructively to 2
♥.
Playing whatever game-try methods you wish, what do you bid ?
The Session From Hell – Board 5
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Board: 5
|
Bored: Yes
|
Vulnerability: Them
|
Dealer: LHO
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
LHO | Pard | RHO | You
|
1
| Pass
| 1
| Pass
|
1NT
| Pass
| 2NT
| Pass
|
3NT
| Pass
| Pass
| Pass
|
After a rocky start, you find yourselves leading the
field, when the opponents stumble into 3NT on the following auction:
Dummy
A J 10
| J x x
| K Q x x
| x x x
|
|
Declarer
K x x
| A Q x
| J x x
| A 10 x x
|
|
Partner leads
♥2 and Declarer is looking at:
←
In with the
♥Q, Declarer knocks out your
♦A
on the third round of Diamonds.
Your Heart return is ducked to partner's
♥K and he clears the suit, everyone following.
With 3 Diamond tricks, 2 Hearts and 1 Club, Declarer needs
3 Spade tricks to make the 3NT contract.
So, whom should Declarer play for the ♠Q ?
The Session From Hell – Board 6
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: You
|
Dealer: RHO
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
K 5
| K Q 4 3 2
| Q 8 3
| 10 7 6
|
|
RHO | You | LHO | 3rdO
|
2NT
| Pass
| 3NT
| Pass
|
Pass
| Pass
|
|
Your mind still reels as you pick up this hand:
RHO's 2NT opening (21-22 HCPs) shuts you up.
LHO raises
to 3NT and it becomes your lead.
Playing more or less standard
carding (i.e., 4th best, King might be from KQ or AK), you choose
to start with a Heart.
But which one ?
The Session From Hell – Board 7
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Board: 7
|
Vulnerability: Both
|
Dealer: North
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
The Director has not yet called an end to Round 2 or
an end to your misery.
Partner is explaining at great length
his latest crackpot bridge theory to the opponents.
You wonder
how much worse things can get when you look at your next hurdle.
R.H.
and S.G. ! In all your years of playing against
them, you've never walked away from their table with a single
matchpoint.
You like them personally, of course, but you
hate that cursed system of theirs: "Valentines".
Oh, well, maybe they won't get any tough bidding hands ...
Yeah, right.
When you finally move to their table, you
distract them with niceties while partner rummages through
their convention card like a "kid in a candy shop".
On the first hand, your side passes throughout as they bid these
hands:
North
J x x x
| x
| A J x
| A K Q x x
|
| |
South
10 x x x
| A K 10
| 10 9 x x
| J x
|
|
How would you, dear reader, bid 'em with your
favourite partner (and, of course, your favourite system) ?
The Session From Hell – Board 8
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: None
|
Dealer: West
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
The "Valentines" boys, R.H.
and S.G., are not done with you yet:
North:
K J x x
| A x x
| A x
| K x x x
|
| |
South:
Q 10 x x
| x x
| x x x
| Q 10 x x
|
|
Dealer West passes.
With North now starting things off, and East
bidding 2
♥ (intermediate, if a jump) over any 1-level opening, how
would you and your favourite partner bid these hands ?
The Session From Hell – Board 9
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: E-W (You)
|
Dealer: North
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
Lest you haven't had enough of the "Valentines" system
after your last two bottom boards, you then watch them bid
these two hands:
North:
K Q 10 x x x
| A x x
| A Q x
| x
|
| |
South:
A 8
| 10 x x
| J 10 x x
| K Q 10 x
|
|
How do you bid these hands with your favourite partner ?
The Session From Hell – Board 10
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: Both
|
Dealer: You
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
You run like a scalded dog from the Valentines pair to
the comfort and safety of the next table.
Here, you meet a partnership playing a standard system with a few gadgets.
Your partner holds your average rubber bridge hand:
Partner
4 3 2
| 4 3 2
| 5 4 3 2
| 4 3 2
|
| |
Pard | RHO | You | LHO
|
|
| Pass | 1♦
|
Pass
| 2*
| Pass
| 2NT*
|
Pass
| 3*
| Pass
| 3NT
|
Pass
| 6
| Pass
| Pass
|
Pass
|
|
He hears the above auction:
2
♦ was inverted, with 2NT promising a guard in both
majors.
3
♣ checked for a Club stopper, which 3NT confirmed.
So, what should partner lead ?
The Session From Hell – Board 11
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: None
|
Dealer: South
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
As your mind throbs with information overload, your partner
decides that, after the three bottoms against the Valentiners, drastic
measures are required to get you back into contention.
By opening a
weak (12-15 HCP) 1NT, he presents your RHO with the following
challenge:
RHO holds:
J x
| A K Q x
| A J 10
| A K Q x
|
| |
Pard | RHO | You | South
|
|
|
| Pass
|
1NT
| Dble
| Pass
| Pass
|
2
| Dble
| Pass
| Pass
|
2
| Dble
| Pass
| Pass
|
2
| ??
|
|
What should RHO bid now ?
The Session From Hell – Board 12
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: N-S (Them)
|
Dealer: West
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
Partner picks up the following hand:
... and hears the following auction:
Partner
J 10 x
| Q x x x
| A x x
| x x x
|
| |
Pard | RHO | You | LHO
|
Pass
| 1
| 1
| 2
|
??
|
|
2♠ is explained as a West Coast cuebid, asking for
a Spade stopper for 3NT.
What should partner bid here ?
The Session From Hell – Board 13
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: Both
|
Dealer: North
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
You approach the next round with trepidation and, of
course, a stern lecture from the director ringing in your ears.
It seems that four psyches in two hands exceeded the limits of
this director's tolerance.
Oh, well, at least he didn't adjust
the result.
The cause of your fear sits North: J.W., aka "The Ram".
In the past, this reprobate has demonstrated an uncanny ability
to fleece you of every available matchpoint or IMP at stake — all
the time rubbing it in with teasing banter, constant bleating
and incessant coffeehousing.
Dummy
A J 5
| K 10 4
| K 10 8 7
| 9 4 2
|
|
Declarer
K 8
| Q 8 6 2
| A J 9 3
| A Q J
|
|
"Just once," you mutter to yourself through clenched
teeth, "just once I'd like to ... "
Things start off with the Ram facing another "find the Queen" hand:
After Declarer's strong 1NT opening is raised to 3NT, your
partner leads ♠10.
Five, four, King.
Assuming that Declarer's RHO is a stronger player than Declarer's LHO, which
opponent should he play for the elusive ♦Q at
matchpoints ? And at rubber bridge ?
The Session From Hell – Board 14
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: None
|
Dealer: East
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
Before going on to the next hand, you excuse yourself
and head for the men's room.
"Good idea," partner chimes as he joins you.
On the way back to the table, partner divines that you
and the Ram seem to have a rivalry going.
"Not much of a rivalry, really," you counter.
"Whenever we lock horns, he comes out on top."
"Is that what keeps bringing you out to play ?"
"What ?" you gasp.
"Well, I might be crazy, but it seems to me ... "
Partner's words trail off, as you take your seats to
continue play.
As Dealer, you open a weak 1NT (12-15 HCPs when not vulnerable).
The Ram hesitates and then passes.
Your partner holds:
x x
|
10 x x x x x x
|
x x
|
x x
|
Playing Jacoby transfers and non-forcing Stayman, any
normal human being would bid 2
♦, transferring to 2
♥.
Of course,
2
♦ did not even occur to the moonbeamer sitting across from you.
Instead, he reached into his bidding box and pulled out ...
Any guesses ?
The Session From Hell – Board 15
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: N-S (them)
|
Dealer: South
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
Still smarting from the Ram's insult on Board 13, your
side picks up:
You:
K Q J 4
| A 10
| A Q 9 7 3
| Q 5
|
| |
Pard:
9 8 5 3
| K
| K J 2
| A 9 7 5 4
|
|
With partner starting things off, and the opponents
passing throughout, how would you and your partner bid these
hands ?
Now change partner's hand to:
You:
K Q J 4
| A 10
| A Q 9 7 3
| Q 5
|
| |
Pard:
A 8 5 3
| 2
| K J 2
| A 9 7 5 4
|
|
... and how would you and your partner bid them ?
The Session From Hell – Board 16
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: E-W (You)
|
Dealer: West
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
Having extracted your revenge against the Ram, you
move on to the next table.
For the umpteenth time during
this session, your partner asks to swap directions with you.
You comply, not wanting to argue with anyone displaying such
strange and compulsive behaviour.
As was his custom, he clears
this switch with the opponents and hears no objections from
them either.
Your new opponents are two kindly local ladies whose
nonchalant, detached and often distracted demeanour belies
their fierce competitiveness and considerable skill.
These
are tough customers whom you've learned from bitter experience
to take very seriously.
While their bidding is often quite
crude, you can count on these two not to slip any tricks in
the play !
Fortunately, your fate is in your own hands on the
first board.
With the opponents passing throughout, your
side holds:
West:
A J x
| A 10 x x
| x
| A K x x x
|
| |
East:
9 x x
| K x x x
| K x x x
| x x
|
|
With West dealing, how would you bid these hands with
your favourite partner ?
Now change West's pointed suits around:
West:
x
| A 10 x x
| A J x
| A K x x x
|
| |
East:
9 x x
| K x x x
| K x x x
| x x
|
|
... and how would you bid these hands ?
The Session From Hell – Board 17
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: None
|
Dealer: North
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
You soon discover that the ladies' bidding methods are
not quite as crude as you had thought.
You watch them stop in
4♥ holding:
North:
K x x
| J 8 7 6 2
| A Q x
| K Q
|
| |
South:
A Q
| Q 5 4 3
| K J x x
| A J x
|
|
How would you bid these hands with your favourite
partner ? And, missing ♥AK109, how would you play the Heart
suit ?
The Session From Hell – Board 18
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: N-S (Them)
|
Dealer: East
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
It seems that partner could not stand to leave Table 6
without committing at least one act of total madness.
It was here, on Board 18, when the silliness reached its peak:
|
Dummy
Q x x
| Q x
| A 10 9 x x
| J x x
|
|
Pard
K J x x
| K J x
| K x
| K 10 x x
|
| |
You
x x x
| x x x x
| J x x
| x x x
|
|
|
Declarer
A 10 x
| A 10 x x
| Q x x
| A Q x
|
|
After a strong 1NT was raised to 3NT, partner finds himself
on lead.
He fingers all thirteen cards, trying to find a lead which
wouldn't give up a trick.
Then, while no one (other than you) is
watching, he reaches into his shirt pocket, extracts a card and
mixes it into his hand.
He then pulls this same card out of his
hand, lays it face down on the table and asks "Questions ?"
"Uh ... "
Delaying no further delay, he flips over ... a Joker !
Without surmising the lead, Dummy immediately puts down her
hand.
"DIRECTOR !"
How would you rule ?
The Session From Hell – Board 19
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: E-W (You)
|
Dealer: South
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
"Director !" you shout at first glance of your next opponents.
"What now ?" asks the Director indignantly.
"There seems to be some mistake here," you explain.
"You have these Canadian Clubbers sitting the same direction as the Valentiners, with us sitting opposite.
What are we running here, a tournament or a gauntlet ?"
The Director laughs off your concerns and wanders away,
leaving you muttering about "starting off six boards behind the field".
Needless to say, your record against the Canadian Clubbers
has not been stellar.
Knowing how effective their slam-bidding
has always been, you can only hope ...
Your Hand
A K J 10 x
| J
| x
| A K 10 x x x
|
|
West | You | East | Pard
|
|
|
| Pass
|
1
| Dble
| 2
| 4
|
Dble!
|
|
West doubles 4
♥ so loud that paint peels off the wall.
After you remind West that he is supposed to be using
bidding cards, you ponder the question: why did you double with
this hand ? Oh, right, now you remember: you were worried that
partner would pass any black suit overcall with good support for
the other black suit.
You turn your thoughts to the second question:
what to do now ?
The Session From Hell – Board 20
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: Both
|
Dealer: West
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
At the top of your list of reasons why you might someday
give up this game is the following hand that the Canadian
Clubbers picked up against you:
North:
A 8 x x x
| x x
| K Q x
| A 9 x
|
| |
South:
Q x x
| A K x x
| A
| K Q J 10 x x
|
|
The field played in Spade and NoTrump contracts ranging
from the game level to, yes, the grand slam level !
How would you and your favourite partner bid these hands ?
The Session From Hell – Board 21
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: N-S (Them)
|
Dealer: North
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
Hand #21 is your first opportunity to give the Canadian
Clubbers a bad board — and on a slam hand, no less !
As East, you hold:
The auction proceeds:
East (You)
x
|
x
|
A J 10 9 x
|
A x x x x x
|
North | You | South | Pard
|
1
| 2
| 3
| 4
|
Pass
| 5
| Dble
| 5
|
6
| Pass | Pass | Pass
|
The 1♥ opening bid was limited to 15 HCPs.
South's 3♦ cuebid confirmed Hearts as trumps.
Partner's 4♦ raise was purely pre-emptive.
North's pass of 4♦ showed a maximum.
Dummy
A x x
|
x x x
|
K Q x
|
K Q x x
|
Your
♦A holds the first trick, with partner
contributing the trey.
Dummy appears with:
So what do you lead at trick Two ?
The Session From Hell – Board 22
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: E-W (You)
|
Dealer: East
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
You find refuge from the Canadian Clubbers at the next
table where a kindly old couple greets your arrival.
After you pass, South's 1♠ opening runs into your partner's
Michaels 2♠ overcall, showing Hearts and better Clubs.
North passes and you hold:
Your Hand (East)
A x x x
|
K J x
|
10 x x x
|
x x
|
Pard | North | You | South
|
| | Pass | 1
|
2
| Pass
| ??
|
You would like to make a move towards 4
♥, but how do
you make such an invitation ?
If you bid 2NT and partner shows Clubs, a 3
♥ bid may sound like a simple suit preference rather
than an invitation.
Knowing that partner would make a 2
♠
overcall on either of these hands:
West #1:
x
| A x x x x
| A x
| A K x x x
|
| |
West #2:
x
| A x x x x
| Q x
| A J 10 x x
|
|
... what do you bid ?
The Session From Hell – Board 23
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: Both
|
Dealer: South
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
This Board 23 featured some spectacular fireworks:
Pard | North | You | South
|
| |
| 1
|
Pass
| 1
| 1
| 1
|
Pass
| 3
| Pass
| 3NT
|
Dble
| Rdbl
| Pass
| Pass
|
Pass
|
As West, having doubled 3NT, what should partner lead from:
West
Q 10 8 4
|
2
|
J 10 7 3
|
K J 7 3
|
The Session From Hell – Board 24
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: None
|
Dealer: West
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
So far you've seen partner revoke on opening lead,
seen partner and opponents spring innumerable gadgets and you
have watched four different declarers find four different Queens
for four different reasons.
What more could possibly happen
during this round ? Well ...
2
| A J 8 7
| A K 10 3
| K Q 8 6
|
| |
Pard | North | You | South
|
Pass
| 1
| Dble
| 2
|
Pass
| 4
| ??
|
|
Do you double again ? Bid 4NT ? Pass ?
The Session From Hell – Board 25
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: N-S (Them)
|
Dealer: North
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
At the next table, you encounter two old rubber bridge
cronies.
North is chastising his partner as you enter
earshot.
"Well," North sighs as he pulls out a rubber bridge
score sheet, "it looks like we'll have to return to the basics here, pard.
Bridge is a game of five columns.
"Here," he pontificates, pointing at the column at the top left
of the score sheet, "we write in our bonuses
and overtricks.
In the top RIGHT column, we write their bonuses and overtricks.
Here, in the third column on the
bottom left, we write our trick score.
And here, in the
fourth column, we put their trick score."
"So," asked his partner quizzically, "where is the
«fifth column»?"
"Sitting right across from me," concluded North.
You | North | Pard | South
|
| 1
| 2
| Dble*
|
Pass
| ??
|
Finished with his tirade, North opens 1
♠.
Your partner overcalls 2
♦.
South makes a negative double. You pass.
Vulnerable against not, what should North do with:
A K Q 4 3
|
8 7
|
K Q 9 2
|
Q 8
|
The Session From Hell - Board 26
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: Both
|
Dealer: North
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
North is by no means finished his teasing diatribe about bridge basics.
"Bridge is like a 4-player backgammon chouette.
You're 'in the box' facing three opponents.
The most dangerous of these — indeed, the Captain of the Opposition — is the
one sitting across from you..."
Tuning out this prattle, you hear this auction:
Assuming you were to play
♥7 and Declarer
♥2,
Who has ♥10 ?
And how does partner know this ?
The Session From Hell - Board 27
Event: Regional
|
Scoring: Matchpoints
|
Vulnerability: None
|
Dealer: South
|
Partner: Lunatic
|
Well, you made it to the last board with your sanity,
if not your bearings and equilibrium, intact.
In doing so, you will end up with more than your partner
started with. Speaking of your partner, he holds:
...and hears this auction:
Pard
A Q
| x x x
| x x x x
| 10 9 8 x
|
| |
South | Pard | North | You
|
1NT | Pass | 2 | Pass
|
2 | Pass | 4NT | Pass
|
5 | Pass | 6 | Pass
|
Pass | Pass
|
|
2
♠ was alerted as being a Puppet Stayman response, promising 5 Spades in a 5-3-3-2 type hand.
"How bad can this be?" your partner must have asked himself. "With any kind of luck, 1NT Opener's 15-18 HCPs will
include the ♠K and they'll go down one for a good
score our way."
Partner leads ♣10, and
sees this mountain come to earth:
North (Dummy)
K x x x x
|
K Q x x
|
K Q
|
A J
|
No doubt your partner cursed to himself: "I could've
lived without seeing the ♠K on dummy !" Nevertheless, Declarer — a good player with 15 HCPs and a 5-3-3-2 type hand — went down one.
But how ?
Board 1: Denouement
At the table,
♦A was led and covered by
Declarer's whole hand.
"Ruffing and drawing trumps, starting
with dummy's King," he claims before leaning over and peeking at your partner's hand.
|
You
J x
| K J 10 x x x
| A x
| x x x
|
|
Declarer
A Q 10 x x x
| A
| —
| A K Q x x x
|
| |
Dummy
K x x
| —
| K J x x x x
| J x x x
|
|
|
Partner
x x
| Q x x x x x
| Q x x x x
| —
|
|
Declarer slaps your partner on the back, chuckles and raves:
"Nice club bid!"
"Which one?" Partner replies flatly. "My first one, or
second one ?"
Dummy wonders aloud why your partner wouldn't just splinter with 4♣ over the 2♥ bid.
Declarer points out that he wouldn't have gone to 7♠ if that had been the case.
RHO | You | LHO | 3rdO
|
2♣
| 2♥
| Pass
| 4♣
|
You try to blot out all of this.
As the thought of 26 more boards with this lunatic filters
into your brain the room starts spinning and fades
into black ...
Board 2: Denouement
Well, at every other table, your hand passed 3
♠.
You | LHO | 3rdO | RHO
|
1
| Pass
| 2NT
|
But, you didn't have the benefit of the above auction at yours.
Opposite your 1
♠ opening, partner gets a crazed gleam in his eye and bids 2NT, bouncing in his seat as he does so.
You alert, hoping that no one would ask:
"Yes ?" RHO intones. "What does 2NT mean ?"
Before the session from hell started, your ersatz erstwhile
partner smiled at your suggestion that you play a Jacoby 2NT
reply here.
Instead, the two of you would be playing something called ... what was it again ? ... oh, right ... "GIRLS".
You rack your brain, trying to cipher out what that silly acronym stood for.
GIRLS.
GIRLS.
Oh, yeah: "Game-try
In Responder's Long Suit".
"Uh, my partner has a long suit headed by two of the top three
honours in support of my Spades," you bluff authoritatively,
hoping RHO won't ask: "Which long suit?" "Umm," you stammer,
"I don't know."
Seeing everyone's dissatisfaction with this answer,
you quickly add: "Yet! I don't know what long suit he has YET."
RHO sports the same indulgent grin that partner showed when you
suggested playing Jacoby 2NT. You ignore this and focus
on trying to figure out what suit partner has.
You remember him blithering something about "Maxi-Flex"
(i.e. when in doubt, bid the cheapest step).
You | LHO | 3rdO | RHO
|
1
| Pass
| 2NT
| Pass
|
3
| Pass
| 3
| Pass
|
|
K J x
| x x
| x x x
| A Q x x x
|
|
You trot out a 3
♣ bid.
Halleluliah ! Partner alerts !
At his turn, he bids 3
♠. 3
♠?
Hmm, 3
♦ would've probably shown
Diamonds, and 3
♥, Hearts.
So 3
♠ must show Clubs!
You count ten Black tricks and proceed to 4
♠.
Sure enough, partner tables the
Type C hand:
And you chalk up +450. Top board. Back in the hunt!
Board 3: Denouement
Without so much as a nanosecond's thought, your partner bangs down
the Club trey. The complete hand was:
|
Dummy
K Q x x
| x x
| A 10 x x
| K J x
|
|
Pard
x x x
| K J 10 x x x
| 3 2
| 3 2
|
| |
You
x
| x x
| Q J x x x
| A Q x x x
|
|
|
Declarer
A J 10 x x
| A Q x
| K x
| 10 x x
|
|
Two quick Club honours and a Club ruff gets your side off to a great start.
Partner exits with a Diamond and collects a Heart trick later.
4
♠, down one. Average plus.
Ever gracious, you compliment your partner on his lead.
So far, so good.
But then you make the mistake of asking him how he managed
to find it.
Partner stares back quizzically. "It was obvious,"
he states flatly. "LOTUS".
"LOTUS?", you counter, despite your better judgement.
"Yes," he continues indulgently. "If you held:
x
|
x x
|
A K Q x x
|
x x x x x
|
" ... you would probably overcall 2
♦ rather than the Unusual 2NT, wouldn't you ?"
"Well, yes, I probably would, but — "
"Exactly," the wildman continues.
"So, if either of your two suits is much stronger than the other,
it is more likely to be the lower-ranked suit,
whenever you make a 2-suited overcall. Right ?"
"So LOTUS stands for ... ", you wonder aloud.
"Lower Of Two Usually Stronger."
Seeing you reach for a pencil, partner tells you that you don't
have to write "LOTUS" on your convention card.
You weren't going to.
Rather, you were trying to pass a message to the opponents:
"As soon as we leave the table, yell «FIRE !»"
Board 4: Denouement
Seduced by those ten-spots, you decide that this hand is
worth one try at game.
The problem, as you see it, is that game
will likely be odds-on,
only if partner has nothing wasted in
Diamonds.
You chance upon an idea: a short-suit game try in
Diamonds!
You put the "2♠" bidding card on the table.
Playing
2-way game tries with your steady partners, you would now expect to
hear 2NT, allowing you to identify the short suit by rebidding 3♦.
You | North | Pard | South
|
1
| Pass
| 2
| Pass
|
2
|
As soon as your 2
♠ bidding card hits the table, you realize
your error.
You aren't playing with your usual, normal partner.
In fact, "usual" and "normal" are the last two words you'd use to describe
the man sitting across from you now.
And, of course, you are
not
playing 2-way game tries !
Nevertheless, the madman alerts.
You rack your brains, trying
to remember what type of game tries you are playing.
You vaguely recall him saying something about a "Feature Show".
You | North | Pard | South
|
1
| Pass
| 2
| Pass
|
2
| Pass
| 2NT
| Pass
|
??
|
The "derango" bids 2NT.
A Spade card, you presume.
This is good news.
But what about a Club card from partner ?
What to do now ?
You bid 3
♣, hoping that this asks for help in that suit.
Sure enough,
partner alerts your 3
♣ bid.
When LHO inquires, you hear more good tidings from partner: "3
♣ authorizes
me to go to 4
♥, if I have a Club card."
Looking at:
A J x
x x x x
x x x x
K x
... he dutifully jumps to 4
♥.
Whereas with:
A J x
x x x x
K x x x
x x
... he would have bid 3
♦ and respected your 3
♥ sign-off.
Hearts break 3-1 but your luck at finding Queens proves much
better than your luck at finding partners.
Correctly placing the
♠Q with RHO nets you +620, another near-top and a
congratulatory smile from pard.
You're on a roll !
Board 5: Denouement
After some thought, Declarer travels to
♠A, cashed
the good Diamond (don't suits always break 3-3 for the opponents ?) and
passes
♠J, successfully finessing your
♠Q, and claiming
+600.
"Nice guess," you concede graciously.
"No nicer than your guess on the previous hand," partner
chirps.
"And probably motivated by the same theory of Fourth Hand Finesses."
As Declarer — an old acquaintance of this rubber-roomer — nods
knowingly you eloquently plead ignorance:
"Huh ?"
"I couldn't bid over 1♣ and you couldn't bid over 1♦," partner
explains patiently.
"Yeah, so ?", you pursue.
"When I passed 1♣, I had only heard one opponent bid.
You, on the other hand, had heard two opponents bid freely and could, therefore, not expect much from me.
Hence, the upper limit of your hand was
higher than the upper limit of mine.
All other things being equal and with no other clues to go on,
this means that you are ever-so-slightly more likely to hold
any outstanding high card than I am."
Your eyes bug out and your mind boggles.
"Naturally," grants the loon, "I assume you know all of this.
Quite basic, really.
Isn't that how you found the same card on the previous hand ?"
"Oh, yes," you lie vacantly.
"Of course ... "
Board 6: Denouement
You consider the prospects of a low Heart —
♥2, in
case it lulls Declarer into a false sense of security.
This is better whenever partner holds a singleton
♥A or
♥J and in some
instances when partner holds the doubleton Ace or Jack.
A low Heart loses, whenever the opposition's Heart holdings split 2-2
and when your side, with no chance of beating 3NT, needs to cash
its tricks quickly.
At IMPs, you would lead a low Heart.
This being matchpoints, you decide to get whatever tricks
you can by leading a Heart honour.
You reach for ♥K
before pausing for thought.
Clearly, ♥K is what would be
considered correct by any normal partner.
For this reason — and
no other — you lead the Heart ... ♥Q!
|
Dummy
J x x
| 8 7
| J 10 x
| K Q x x x
|
|
You
K 5
| K Q 4 3 2
| Q 8 3
| 10 7 6
|
| |
Pard
x x x x
| J 9 6
| x x x x
| x x
|
|
|
Declarer
A Q 10 x
| A 10 5
| A K x
| A J x
|
|
As soon as you see dummy — and before you see partner's
card — you are glad that you led a Heart honour.
If Declarer had ♥J, instead of, say, ♣J,
your side would likely
score only the ♠K after a small Heart lead.
Whenever one was led, a Heart honour was allowed to win the
first trick.
For some of those holding your partner's ♥J96, the
♥K lead presented a problem: to encourage (playing West for ♥KQ)
or discourage (expecting West to hold ♥AK) ? Most chose correctly.
Those that didn't presented an ethical problem to the opening
leader, since the time it took for East to decide to discourage
revealed ♥J.
This being the honest game it was,
these West's switched to a Club and spat up –460.
Your ♥Q presented partner no such problem.
He encouraged, you continued.
Declarer could have cashed 9 tricks,
but correctly decided to take the Spade finesse.
Down one, for a near top your way.
"Brilliant choice of leads," partner commends.
"You knew I couldn't have ♥A,
so you looked for the one useful card I could own: ♥J.
Very good ! Reminds me of a ruse I know: the opponents lead a King and ... "
You tune him out, look upwards, squint and whisper: "Are You having fun yet ?"
Board 7: Denouement
Playing Canapé, North began with 1
♠.
North
J x x x
| x
| A J x
| A K Q x x
|
| |
South
10 x x x
| A K 10
| 10 9 x x
| J x
|
|
|
South's 2
♠ raise
was not entirely encouraging (6-8 HCPs, 4+ Spades), but South
ventured on unabated with 3
♣.
North had full value for his 3NT call.
Finding the
♦Kxx onside gave Declarer 3
Diamonds, 5 Clubs and 2 Hearts for +630.
No matchpoints for you here ! Partner is, of course,
effusive with praise for the opponents.
You, meanwhile, are doing the math: 2 more hands against these guys, twenty
more with this partner.
Then to the "28th Board", a bar
across the street, for a good stiff drink ...
Board 8: Denouement
At virtually every other table, North opened 1NT and
East played in 2
♥ for +110 or +140.
At
your table, North's 1NT opening is alerted.
Partner asks and is told that 1NT promised
a flat hand of 13-16 HCPs and a "core" of 4-3, 4-4 or 5-3 in
Spades and Hearts respectively.
North | Pard | South | You
|
1NT*
| 2
| 2
| Dble*
|
3
| Pass
| Pass
| Pass
|
Over your partner's 2
♥, South looks at the vulnerability
and bids 2
♠.
You make a defensive double over 2
♠, supporting your
partner's Hearts.
North's 3
♠ call ends the auction.
To make matters worse, South finds your partner's ♣AJ,
draws trumps and chalks up +140 in 3♠.
Fixed like a dog at the
vet, you roll your eyes and brace yourself for the post mortem.
Out of curiousity, your Partner asks R.H.: "Why Spades ?
Why does your 1NT opening promise four Spades ?"
"It's the only suit we can't bid and then rebid 1NT,"
comes the reply.
The three of them begin discussing the problems
involved in Responder competing with 4-card suits opposite a more
standard 1NT opening.
"Exactly," concludes the wildman.
"Opener's possible doubleton hangs over Responder's throat like Poe's pendulum."
Board 9: Denouement
Results from the other tables were more mixed on this hand.
Many played in a Spade game, many in 2
♠, and a few pairs
in 1NT.
As your side passed, the Valentines auction proceeded:
North | South
|
1 | | – Canapé, 12-18 HCPs.
|
| 1NT* | – Unlimited force.
|
2* | | – 15-18, 1-suited.
|
| 2NT* | – "Short suit ?"
|
3* | | – Short in Clubs.
|
| 3NT | – To play.
|
This turned out to be one of the more interesting play
problems from the session:
|
North
K Q 10 x x x
| A x x
| A Q x
| x
|
|
Pard
J 7 6
| K Q J x
| x x
| J 7 4 2
|
| |
You
9 x
| x x x
| K x x x
| A x x x
|
|
|
South
A 8
| 10 x x
| J 10 x x
| K Q 10 x
|
|
At first glance, 4♠ seems like an easy contract.
Declarer North wins the Heart lead, puts hir small Club on the table and
eventually pitches two Diamonds on the ♣KQ.
However, 4♠
actually failed at most tables where it was bid!
Some Norths played two rounds of trumps, ending up
in dummy and then tried for a possible overtrick, finessing
in Diamonds.
Others found a more adventurous way to fail: North
led a Club from hir hand at trick Two.
East won ♣A and put partner in with a Heart.
West cashed the second Heart winner
and then played the 13-th Heart !
North could have guessed to
ruff in with ♠10, but would then worry seeing East
discard a Club.
Would the ♣KQ still cash ? Instead, most Norths
pitched a Diamond on the 13-th Heart.
East's ♠9 forced ♠A from
dummy (South) and Declarer then had to guess to
finesse in Spades rather than play for ♠J dropping.
Many went wrong, misguessing on this line of play.
At your table, playing in 3NT, Declarer South holds up twice on
your partner's ♥K lead, wins the third round perforce with ♥A, and leads
the Club from dummy.
South's ♣K holds the trick, as he
carefully notes your partner's discouraging ♣2.
Assuming six Spades, one Club and two red Aces, 3NT is now secure.
But, +400 will not fare well against +420 in 4♠.
South pondered the matchpoint considerations.
How many pairs would reach & make 4♠
with these cards ?
The Diamond finesse was 50-50, but even if it lost,
3NT might still make if East has ♣A, but not the
fourth Heart (as was, in fact, the case).
And, of course, the Diamond hook may be necessary in some cases where East has four
Spades:
e.g.
J x x x
x x x
x x x
A x x
.
Eventually, South decides to "go for the gusto".
He holds his breath, as you win the ♦K.
Do you hold the fourth
Heart ? If not, was your partner's ♣2 a ploy from ♣Axxx
designed to lull South into a false sense of security ? If so,
South resolves to tip his hat to the defence and accept –50.
As it turned out, though, you could only cash your ♣A to hold 3NT tight.
+400 and a well-deserved near-top for N-S.
You have had more than enough of these guys and are
anxious to move on.
Not so your partner, who becomes very
animated, scribbling two hands down on separate pieces of paper
before presenting them as a challenge to the Valentiners.
"This is a hand Tom Edwards posted to the rec.games.bridge newsgroup.
How would you guys bid it ? You first, R.H.
IMPs, both vulnerable."
R. H.
5
| A
| A 9 6 5
| A K J 10 6 4 3
|
| |
S. G.
10 9 8
| J 10 5 4
| K Q 3
| 8 7 2
|
|
Their auction proceeds with R.H.'s forcing 1♣ and relay
rebids opposite S.G.'s mostly natural bidding:
North | South
|
1♣
| 1NT
| – 6-8 HCPs, flat.
|
2♣
| 2♥
| – 4 Hearts.
|
2♠
| 2NT
| – No 2nd suit; hence, 3-4-3-3.
|
3♣
| 3♦
| – Minimum.
|
3♥
| 4♦
| – Forced cuebid of ♦A or ♦K.
|
4♥
| 5♦
| – Forced cuebid of ♦Q.
|
6♣
|
The opponents frown at your partner, wondering why he
would give them such an "easy" hand to bid.
None too soon, the
Director calls the move for the next round.
Board 10: Denouement
6
♦ was a very popular contract,
with results depending largely on the opening lead.
Your partner put the Heart trey on the table.
The whole hand was:
|
Dummy
A 9 x
| Q x
| A K Q x
| A 10 x x
|
|
Pard
4 3 2
| 4 3 2
| 5 4 3 2
| 4 3 2
|
| |
You
K x x
| K J 10 x x
| x
| J x x x
|
|
|
Declarer
Q J 10 x
| A 9 x
| J 10 x x
| K Q
|
|
The ♥Q, ♥K and ♥A were
played at trick One.
Declarer played two rounds of trumps, saw the 4-1 break and carefully
played the ♣KQ before taking the Spade finesse.
Your two major suit tricks gave your side +100 and a tie for top.
"Nice lead, partner !"
"Elementary," he replies dismissively.
"When in doubt, lead the suit above Declarer's first bid.
Declarer opened 1♦.
I led a Heart."
Simple game.
Board 11: Denouement
Not having faced such a situation before, RHO could not
pass with any confidence that his partner, South, would feel
compelled to back into the auction.
RHO's double ended matters.
|
RHO
J x
| A K Q x
| A J 10
| A K Q x
|
|
Pard
K Q 10 9 x x
| J x
| x x x
| J x
|
| |
You
A x x
| x x x
| K Q x x x
| x x
|
|
|
South
x x
| x x x x
| x x
| x x x x x
|
|
While your partner chalks up +470 making 8 tricks, RHO leans across to his
partner and asks: "It seems we missed 4♥ game.
If I had passed 2♠ rather than doubled, would you have felt compelled to bid with your yarborough ?"
South shook his head.
You cradle yours in your hands.
Why
have the Fates decided to grace such actions as your partner's with
success ?
Reporting partner's psyches to the TD was a dicey
affair.
This particular director generally took a dim view
on anyone psyching three times in the same month, let alone
three times on the same hand.
The director arrives and makes it
clear to your partner that no further psyching would be tolerated
during this session.
"Sorry," your partner replies, "but I'm afraid that would be unfair."
"What ? !", bellowed the director, unaccustomed to having
his authority challenged.
"It wouldn't be equitable," partner explained politely.
"It would put my partner in the unique position of knowing that no more of my bids could be psychic.
Our opponents, who haven't «shot their bolt yet», would be at a distinct disadvantage.
You see my point, don't you ?"
"Umm, yes, well," stammered the director, "carry on, then.
But I'll be watching you two !"
A random thought flitters through your brain: "Maybe if I were to fake a seizure ... "
Board 12: Denouement
Partner piped in with a lead-directing 3
♦ call.
|
Declarer
K x x
| A K 9 x x
| K x x
| x x
|
|
Pard
J 10 x
| Q x x x
| A x x
| x x x
|
| |
You
A Q 9 8 x
| x x
| J 10 9 x
| J x
|
|
|
Dummy
x x
| J 10
| Q x x
| A K Q x x x
|
|
North was happy to bid 3NT over the 3♦ call, looking
at strength in both pointed suits.
In 3NT, matters rested.
Your failure to lead partner's Club "suit" against 7♠
on Board 1 served as a lesson.
Without thought, you bang
down ♦J.
Declarer ducks, Partner rises with ♦A and shifts to ♠J.
Five tricks later, Declarer claimed for down two.
+200 for E-W.
Results from other tables were very mixed.
At most, 3NT made anywhere from 9 to 13 tricks, depending on
lead and greed.
Some N-S pairs played in 4♥ but only one
chalked up +620.
Most pairs in 4♥ spat up –100.
When Declarer asks your partner about the 3♦ call, you
hear the explanation: "Just biddin' what I had.
I had three Diamonds, I bid three Diamonds ... "
"DIRECTOR !"
Board 13: Denouement
|
Dummy
A J 5
| K 10 4
| K 10 8 7
| 9 4 2
|
|
Pard
10 9 3 2
| A 9 3
| Q 4
| K 8 6 5
|
| |
You
Q 7 6 4
| J 7 5
| 6 5 2
| 10 7 3
|
|
|
Declarer
K 8
| Q 8 6 2
| A J 9 3
| A Q J
|
|
Declarer could play on the other suits first, but
would not have found many clues.
Instead, he plays a Diamond to ♦K.
You contribute ♦2.
On the ♦10, you play ♦5.
Declarer goes into a long huddle, glances once to
his left, once to his right and plays ... ♦A !
This guess allowed the Ram to be one of the few Declarers
to scramble home with 9 tricks from these 28 HCPs.
"Sorry, pard," you apologize.
"I guess he must have picked up on my count signal in Diamonds."
Partner shook his head.
"I don't think so.
It is true that too many players will give an honest count from three small, I don't think that is what tipped him off here.
It appears that he was about to pay you a compliment, finessing you for the ♦Q,
when he seems to have changed his mind."
The Ram nodded.
"Yes," he concurred obnoxiously, "I was about to apply the Riley Rule: always take your finesses into the lesser player, since he is less likely to know what to continue."
"The Riley Rule ?" I queried.
"Never heard of it."
"Of course," the Ram continued, "had this been rubber bridge,
I would do the exact opposite, allowing the Rubber Bridge Theory
of Relativity to take precedence."
"The Rubber Bridge Theory of Relativity ?" I wondered aloud.
"High Card Points x I.Q.
Points = a constant," partner
explained indulgently before turning his attention back to the Ram.
"So," partner persisted, "why did you change your mind ?"
"Well," the Ram wheezed, "I stopped and asked myself:
what the heck am I doing ?
Neither of these guys is any good !
So, I played for the drop !"
Board 14: Denouement
|
RHO
Q J 10 x
| Q
| K Q x x x
| Q 10 x
|
|
Pard
x x
| 10 x x x x x x
| x x
| x x
|
| |
You
K x x
| A x x
| A 10 x
| A x x x
|
|
|
RAM
A x x x
| K J
| J x x
| K J x x
|
|
Loon | RHO | You | RAM
|
|
| 1NT | Pass
|
2NT! | Pass | 3NT | Pass
|
Pass | Pass
|
On the small Spade lead, partner dummy laid his hand down.
"No wasted values," he quips.
Despite the disappointing dummy (you had expected
somewhat more), 3NT proved unbeatable.
Your +400 sparkled as the
only plus score opposite all of the –170s and –420s for those
E-W pairs, who defended Spade contracts.
Indeed, the assistant
TD subsequently approached your opponents twice to confirm the
result.
The Ram, at least, seemed displeased with your partner's
bidding.
From all appearances, one might infer that the Ram had
never considered the pre-emptive value of Notrump raises.
"Why 2NT ? !", he demands indignantly.
"Why wouldn't you bid your Hearts ?"
Your partner looks at the score sheet before glancing up
quizzically at the Ram.
"Hearts ?", partner wonders as a frown crosses his brow.
"Just how bad do you think I am ?"
Board 15: Denouement
You:
K Q J 4
| A 10
| A Q 9 7 3
| Q 5
|
|
Pard:
9 8 5 3
| K
| K J 2
| A 9 7 5 4
|
|
This hand offered you your chance to shine.
Playing Italian style cuebids, the auction began:
Pard | You
|
Pass
| 1
|
1
| 3
|
4
| 4
|
4
| ??
|
And here, you were at the crossroads.
The last three bids simply confirmed 1st or 2nd round control of the side suits.
Because you hold two of the top three trump honours,
you are now permitted to go beyond 4♠.
But with what ? If
you Blackwood and partner shows an Ace, how will you know ♠A or ♣A ?
Is this the price you pay for not playing standard
cuebids, where 4♣ would have promised ♣A ?
A better question crosses your mind: what would your
deranged partner bid with this hand ? In a flash, it comes to
you ...
Pard | You
|
Pass
| 1
|
1
| 3
|
4
| 4
|
4
| 5
|
5
| Pass
|
5♣, in effect, shuts out partner from showing ♣A.
Needless to say, 5♣ was your first experience with such
"pre-emptive cuebidding".
Partner correctly inferred that his
♣A was not of any interest to you and, with nothing else
to show, signed off in 5♠.
Of course, holding:
A 8 5 3
2
K J 2
K 9 7 5 4
Your partner would leap directly to 6♠.
|
You (Dummy)
K Q J 4
| A 10
| A Q 9 7 3
| Q 6
|
|
Ram
A 7
| Q 7 6 5 3
| 10 4
| K J 10 8
|
| |
Ram's Pard
9 6 2
| J 9 8 4 2
| 8 6 5
| 3 2
|
|
|
Pard
10 8 5 3
| K
| K J 2
| A 9 7 5 4
|
|
The Ram's Heart lead against 5♠ ran around to your
partner's ♥K.
He put a small Spade on the table.
The Ram absent-mindedly played ♠7.
Seeing his ♠K hold the trick, partner stopped to
take stock.
He scratched his head and looked over at the Ram
before proceeding.
He cashed ♥A, tossing ♦K.
Then he led a Diamond to his ♦J, noting the Ram's ♦10.
A second round of Diamonds and a spade from dummy endplayed the Ram.
"Bravo !" you shout, clapping your hands.
"But why did you risk the contract for an overtrick ? You were already ahead of the pairs in 6♠ down one — "
"Sorry, guys," the Ram butted in, trying to justify his error.
"I guess a lesser player might have saved time by leading a Club
from my hand at trick One."
"Yes," you concede, surveying the room, "but where would we find a lesser player ?"
Board 16: Denouement
"Why do we have to play all of these gadgets ?" you had
complained before the session started.
"Humour me," your partner begged.
Sure enough, the opportunity has arisen to apply one of those gizmos.
Pard:
A J x
| A 10 x x
| x
| A K x x x
|
| |
You:
9 x x
| K x x x
| K x x x
| x x
|
|
On this hand, your partner opens 1
♣ (natural) and you dredge up a
reluctant 1
♥ reply.
2
♦ by him.
You alert.
The lady on your right asks for an explication.
"A Perverse Reverse," you tell her.
"Partner may have any one of three hand types:
(a)
A normal, natural reverse with both minors;
(b)
A long solid Club suit and secondary Heart support; or
(c)
A 2½ Heart raise;
Of these, the latter is the most common," you conclude.
If you were curious, you would now bid the cheapest
unbid denomination (i.e., 2
♠ here), allowing partner to rebid:
2NT – Short Spades OR Short Diamonds, Heart support.
– A 3♣ rebid by you would then ask for the
short suit (3♦ = D x/void, 3♥ = S x/void).
3♣ – Natural reverse: 4 Diamonds, 6+ Clubs.
3♦ – Natural reverse: 5 Diamonds, 6+ Clubs.
3♥ – 2-4-2-5-ish, Heart support, no short suit.
3NT – Solid Clubs, Honour-x or xxx in Hearts.
(N.B.: 1♣:1♥:3NT would deny secondary ♥support)
On his occasion, you aren't curious, so you sign off in
2♥ — which, of course, does not
promise extra Heart length.
You now expect partner to pass (with good Heart support) or rebid
naturally (without good Heart support).
Pard | You
|
1
| 1
|
2*
| 2
|
2*
| 2NT*
|
3*
| 3
|
But, partner wants to invite 4
♥ again.
He rebids 2
♠,
promising good Heart support.
You play along and rebid 2NT to
discover his shortness.
His 3
♦ rebid (shortness in Diamonds)
brings you to a screeching halt in 3
♥.
Had he bid 3
♣ (showing
shortness in Spades), you would have leapt into 4
♥.
Ten of Spades lead (from ♠K1083, no less !).
Hearts
break 3-2, Clubs 4-2.
The defence collects two Spades, ♦A, and a trump.
Your +140 nets you an average-plus
against the pairs who blindly drove to 4♥ with the West hand.
You catch yourself before asking: "Know any other gadgets, pard ?" No sense encouraging him ...
Board 17: Denouement
North:
K x x
| J 8 7 6 2
| A Q x
| K Q
|
| |
South:
A Q
| Q 5 4 3
| K J x x
| A J x
|
|
|
|
Declarer (North) won your opening Spade lead in dummy
and ducked a trump to your (East's) stiff ♥A.
+450 and a tie for top their way.
"Nicely played," you congratulate, "and nicely bid.
By the way, what was the 3♠ cuebid ?"
"We play Cubic Cuebids," North explained.
"On the first level, we just show controls.
You know, 1st or 2nd round controls, just like the Italians.
You know, Belladonna and Garozzo ?"
You nod, allowing as how you've heard of them.
"But once we have the three other suits controlled,"
North continued, "we look at Aces and the KQ of trump — six cards.
You know, like the six sides of a cube ?"
Yes, you've heard they have six sides.
"Once 4♦ confirmed all suits controlled," North concluded,
"I could only cuebid an Ace, if I had two of the top three trump honours.
I didn't, so I bid 4♥.
Partner could have bid 5♥ to ask me for one of the top three, or could have used Key Card Blackwood.
But that might have gotten us too high ... "
"Exactly," South concurred.
"And there's no sense going to 5♥, if you're not going to bid six."
You try not to roll your eyes at the revelation.
"Um, I've never known you ladies to bid like this," you
persist.
"Mind if I ask where you learned this stuff about «Cubic Cuebids» ?"
Both opponents look at you quizzically before pointing at
your partner.
You try to ignore his coprophaegic grin as you
chalk up another bottom board.
Board 18: Denouement
Well, it's a safe bet that the ruling is
not going to go
your way.
The good news is that one of the better-humoured Directors
comes to the table.
Upon hearing the facts, the Director commands
the four of you play out the hand before calling him back for a
decision.
Partner puts the Joker back in his pocket and leads a
small Spade.
|
Dummy
Q x x
| Q x
| A 10 9 x x
| J x x
|
|
Pard
K J x x
| K J x
| K x
| K 10 x x
|
| |
You
x x x
| x x x x
| J x x
| x x x
|
|
|
Declarer
A 10 x
| A 10 x x
| Q x x
| A Q x
|
|
Declarer wins with
♠10,
plays to
♦A
and runs
♦10.
In with
♦K, partner exits with
a Spade to dummy's
♠Q.
A diamond to her
♦Q establishes the
suit for Declarer, who then leads the
♣Q.
When partner errs by ducking, Declarer switches to a small Heart and
cannot be prevented from making 11 tricks.
The Director returns to the table.
"Since West has failed to lead a Club, Diamond, Heart or Spade, I am awarding a two trick penalty.
+720, N-S."
"Congratulations," the Director says to your partner, "you are the first player in bridge history to revoke on opening lead."
"Oh, well," you sigh, "minus –660 was going to be a bottom anyway, so it didn't really cost us anything."
"Au contraire," partner intones, "the Joker lead marked me for all of the outstanding Kings.
Sorry, pard.
It seems I tipped my hand."
With this, he apologizes to everyone for the kerfuffle,
excuses himself and goes to get a drink at the bar.
"Why does your partner carry a Joker in his pocket ?" dummy
inquires.
You shrug and make your best guess: "Identification ?"
Board 19: Denouement
Your problem is that 4
♥ is likely to be a bloodbath, while
a 3-card black suit holding from partner might allow 4
♠ or 5
♣ to
make.
South could hold:
Your Hand
A K J 10 x
|
J
|
x
|
A K 10 x x x
|
South #1:
x
| Q x x x x x
| 10 x x x
| x x
|
| |
South #2:
x
| A x x x x
| J x x x
| Q x x
|
| |
South #3:
x x x
| Q x x x x x
| Q 10 x
| x
|
|
Most North players removed to 4♠, sat for a double and saw South
put down Hand #1.
Those who ran from the double of 4♠ to 5♣ fared
little better.
Scores ranged from –100 all the way up to "sticks and wheels" (i.e., –1100).
You run to 4♠, hear another double that registered on the
Richter scale, and come to rest in a firmly doubled 5♣.
|
You
A K J 10 x
| J
| x
| A K 10 x x x
|
|
West
x x x
| A K 10 x
| A J 10 x
| Q x
|
| |
East
Q 9 x x
| x x
| K x x x
| J x x
|
| |
South
x
| Q x x x x x
| 10 x x x
| x x
|
|
|
West | You | East | Pard
|
|
|
| Pass
|
1
| Dble
| 2
| 4
|
Dble!
| 4
| Pass
| Pass
|
Dble!
| 5
| Pass
| Pass
|
Dble!
| Pass
| Pass
| Pass
|
|
On the trump lead, you cashed two Spades before establishing
that suit with a trump finesse.
Down two.
"Well," you conclude, "it seems we did as best we could, given the problem we faced over 4♥ doubled."
Partner and both opponents shake their heads in unison.
"The solution to the problem," partner intones quietly, "is to avoid the problem altogether."
"Pardon ?"
"We should be playing Dynamic 1NT overcalls," continues the
Lunatic, "as our opponents are."
West | You | East | Pard
|
|
|
| Pass
|
1
| 1NT*
| Pass
| 2
|
Pass
| 3
| 3
| Pass
|
Pass
| Pass
|
Your LHO takes up the cue and demonstrates how
they would've bid
these hands:
North's 1NT overcall was explained as Dynamic, usually
showing an off-shape takeout double.
South's 2♥ was weak, showing
6+ Hearts and 0-2 Spades.
North finds 3♣ and then sells out to 3♦.
Collecting two tricks in each Black suit and a Spade ruff would give
E-W +50 — the only plus score registered in that direction.
You decide not to wait until game's end to embibe.
As you stride back from the bar, you find the Canadian Clubbers explaining
their auction on Board 17.
North:
K x x
| J 8 7 6 2
| A Q x
| K Q
|
| |
South:
A Q
| Q 5 4 3
| K J x x
| A J x
|
|
North | South
|
1
| | – 11-15 HCPs, 5+ Hearts.
|
| 2♣
| – Golady. Game-forcing, Staymanic.
|
2
| | – No second 4+card suit.
|
| 2
| – DIET TAB. "Strength ? Trumps ? KeyCards ?"
|
2NT | | – A maximum. 14-15 HCPs.
|
| 3
| – "Q ? Key Cards ?"
|
3NT |
| – 5 Hearts, no Q, 2 Key Cards.
|
| 4 | – Sign-off, missing two Key Cards.
|
"I remember reading about the DIET TAB in the Bridge World and in Amalya Kearse's «Bridge Conventions Complete»," your partner
comments.
"Very impressive."
You glare at your partner as he fawns over the opponents.
"Speaking of DIETs," you think to yourself, "eight more boards and I'll be able to shed about 180 unwanted pounds ... "
Board 20: Denouement
North:
A 8 x x x
| x x
| K Q x
| A 9 x
|
| |
South:
Q x x
| A K x x
| A
| K Q J 10 x x
|
|
As you and your partner passed helplessly, the Canadian
Clubbers bid as follows, alerting and explaining every step
of the way:
North | South
|
1 | | – 11 to 15, 5+ Spades
|
| 2 | – Golady, Game forcing Stayman (no less !)
|
2 | | – No 2nd suit, transferring back to Spades
|
| 2 | – DIET TAB. "Spades ? HCPs ? Key Cards ?"
|
3 | | – 5 Spades, minimum, no ♠Q, 2 Key Cards.
|
| 3NT | – "What is your DOUBLETON ?"
|
4 | | – 1st Step = Highest ranked: doubleton
|
| 4 | – "Kings outisde Spades ?"
|
4 | | – One non-trump King.
|
| 4NT | – "Anything extra ?"
|
5 | | – Concentrated Diamond values (KQ)
|
| 5NT | – Grand Slam Force. "Spades ?"
|
6 | | – The Ace of Spades.
|
| ??
|
Holding:
K J 10 9
Q J 10
J 10 x x
x x
... in front of North's
♠A8xxx, you reach into your pocket
for a hankerchief to wipe up the spittle forming at the sides of your mouth.
With your other hand, you reach into your bidding box for a red card.
Suddenly, you hear RHO bid the final contract: 7♣!
Seven CLUBS ? Where did that come from ?
You place the red card onto the table.
After all, a double
is unlikely to cost you any matchpoints and, if 7♣ fails, may be
necessary to keep pace with pairs incurring disaster in 6♠.
RHO rewinds, wins your opening ♥Q lead
and claims beavered 7♣,
after ruffing 2 Heart losers in
dummy, tossing his Spade losers on the ♦KQ and drawing trumps.
You are then subjected to an analysis by the three others at
the table about how fortunate South was to not hold ♥9, which would've made 7NT possible on a squeeze in
the majors.
Well, you were right about one thing: the Double didn't cost you any matchpoints !
Oh, sure, it may have cost you a large part of your sanity and composure,
but NO MATCHPOINTS !
Board 21: Denouement
Gratified that your
♦A cashed, you wonder if your
♣A will be as lucky.
Had North simply "taken the bull by the horns" and leapt to 6
♥, trusting partner to hold a second
Ace ? Did he have solid majors and two quick minor suit losers ?
Or did he have a Void in Clubs and a Spade loser ?
Feeling that you have nothing to go on, you shrug your
shoulders and bang down ♣A.
Declarer covered this with his entire hand, claiming 6♥.
|
North
K 10 x x x
| A K Q J 10 x x
| x
| —
|
|
Pard
Q J x x
| x x
| 8 7 5 3
| J 6 3
|
| |
You
x
| x
| A J 10 9 x
| A x x x x x
|
|
|
Dummy
A x x
| x x x
| K Q x
| K Q x x
|
|
Partner and both opponents turned and stared at you as if
you had committed some unpardonable gaffe.
Eventually, South breaks the silence.
"Excuse me for asking," he started slowly, "but why did you
choose to ignore your partner's ♦3 count signal for Clubs ?"
Board 22: Denouement
Your pre-game discussion with partner had been a nightmare.
Your partner spewed out an alphabet soup of acronyms
for conventions you had never encountered.
Through the maze of swirling names, you
vaguely remember something about
"Lover's Leap".
It pertained to
precisely this auction, but what exactly was it ?
Pard | North | You | South
|
| | Pass | 1
|
2
| Pass
| 2NT
| Pass
|
3
| Pass
| 3
| Pass
|
3,4
|
Slowly, you piece it together.
Because Advancer (you, in
this case) could bid 2NT, hear partner bid 3
♣ and then bid 3
♦ with
length in that suit, an
immediate 3
♦ bid is free for artificial
use.
Whereas 3
♥ would be a simple preference, 3
♦ can be used here
as an invitation to 4
♥.
Your 3♦ call fetches a quick
3♥ from partner, who happened
to hold the West#2 hand above.
Partner scrambled for 9 tricks.
Your +140 fared very well against the East's who had shrugged their
shoulders and unilaterally jumped to 4♥.
"Well done !" your partner lauds.
"I didn't know whether you'd remember Lover's Leap."
"I wouldn't have," you confess, "if I hadn't asked why you called it that.
A bid of 3♦ to invite a jump to 4♥.
Hence, «Lover's Leap»."
You are justifiably proud of yourself, having recalled what
conventions you were playing with this maniac.
Now, if only you
could recall why you were playing with him ...
Board 23: Denouement
|
North
K
| 10 8 5
| A K Q 9
| 9 8 6 5 2
|
|
Pard
Q 10 8 4
| 2
| J 10 7 3
| K J 7 3
|
| |
You
7 5 3 2
| A Q J 7 4
| 8 4 2
| 4
|
|
|
Declarer
A J 9 6
| K 9 6 3
| 6 5
| A Q 10
|
|
Partner finds the ♠4 lead.
In with dummy's ♠K,
Declarer led a small Club and finessed ♣Q.
In with ♣K, partner switched to ♦7.
With so few entries to dummy, Declarer saw no reason to inserted ♦9.
Rising with ♦A,
Declarer led a club to her ♣10,
which partner allowed to hold.
♣A.
Declarer tries one more ploy:
she travels to dummy with her second Diamond and puts your
partner in with a Club, hoping he is endplayed.
But partner exits with his carefully preserved ♥2.
You win ♥A and lead a Spade through Declarer.
Partner wins his ♠Q, cashes ♣J
and returns a Spade, leaving Declarer to concede the setting trick to your ♥Q.
"Nice Double.
Nice Defence," you compliment, while
making a mental note to firm up your overcalls a little.
"Routine," partner yawns.
Board 24: Denouement
While only the most incurable optimist could characterize
your luck so far as being "good", you have, at least, managed to
survive 23 boards without being squeezed at trick Two:
|
North
K Q 9 8 7 5
| K 6
| Q 9 4 2
| A
|
|
Pard
A 3
| 10 5 4
| J 7 6 5
| 7 5 4 2
|
| |
You
2
| A J 8 7
| A K 10 3
| K Q 8 6
|
|
|
South
J 10 6 4
| Q 9 3 2
| 8
| J 10 9 3
|
|
Sitting East, you chose to double North's 4♠.
A trump lead to partner's ♠A prompted him to return another Spade.
Declarer won this with ♠K and waited for you to discard and tell
her in which suit she'd be getting her tenth trick.
–590.
"I'll try to hold more next time," your partner soothes.
A next time ? Does he really think there's going to be a
next time ?
Thanks to Drew Cannell for contributing Hand #24 !
Board 25: Denouement
You | North | Pard | South
|
| 1
| 2
| Dble*
|
Pass
| 3NT
| Pass
| 4
|
Pass
| 4
| Pass
| Pass
|
North chose to leap to 3NT.
At his turn, excited South cuebid 4
♦.
North put the brakes on with 4
♠ and the
hand was played there.
|
North
A K Q 4 3
| 8 7
| K Q 9 2
| Q 8
|
|
You
J 7
| Q J 10 8 6 5
| 5
| J 10 6 5
|
| |
Pard
6 5 2
| 4
| A J 10 7 6 4 3
| 7 2
|
|
|
South
10 9 8
| A K 3 2
| 8
| A K 9 4 3
|
|
Your partner led his singleton
Heart and Declarer chalked up 680, making 6.
Seeing that the defence could beat 6♠ with a diamond
over-ruff, North guessed that this would be a very good
result for their side.
"Near bottom is my guess," South countered.
"We'll beat only those East's who are brave enough to cash ♦A in the teeth of my Diamond cuebid.
Won't be many of those, I'm afraid."
"I thought about passing the 2♦ overcall doubled," North
explained, "but I didn't think we can get it for more than 500."
"Didn't matter," South countered.
"Most players would jump to 3♦ with this East hand.
3♦ doubled you would pass with alacrity.
+800 will be the par score here, I'm afraid."
Certain that South was correct in his assessment,
you interject an obvious question: "Pard, why did you bid only 2♦ with that hand ?"
"Just a matter of style," partner explained.
"I've found that the Ace of a 7-card suit is often worth two tricks on defence, since the very fact that we are defending increases the chances of partner having a singleton."
"So with ♦KJ10xxxx and nothing else you would have ... "
" ... bid 3♦ and gone for my life," partner agreed.
"But, then, 6♠ would be cold, wouldn't it ?"
As you cover your eyes to prevent them from rolling
out of their sockets, partner continues: "And, of course, it never hurts to be lucky !"
Luckier still was the fact that you had only two more boards to play with this character !
Board 26: Denouement
Your
♥7 would, of course, promise
♥10.
Marked with Three Hearts, with
♥976 you should
ditch
♥9 at trick Two, unblocking the
suit while utterly denying
♥10.
You, of course, were helpful enough to play ♥9 at trick Two.
|
Dummy (South)
K Q 3
| 5 4
| Q 9 7 5
| A Q J 7
|
|
Partner
10 8
| K Q J 8
| K 4 3
| 8 6 5 4
|
| |
You
J 7 4 2
| 9 7 6
| J 8 6
| K 10 3
|
|
|
Declarer
A 9 6 5
| A 10 3 2
| A 10 2
| 9 2
|
|
Most Declarers ducked at trick Two.
A Club switch and finesse at trick Three left You on lead.
Unable to lead both a Heart and a Club, most chose the
former.
Declarer won ♥A, played ♠KQ and
finessed ♠9.
On the last Spade, Partner was squeezed:
|
Dummy (South)
—
| —
| Q 9 7
| A Q 7
|
|
| |
|
|
|
At
your table, Declarer, trusting
your
partner's 1♥ bid
to show 5+ Hearts, won the
second Heart trick and lost the
Club finesse.
This allowed you to track through your last
Heart.
Partner scooped up two Hearts and then found the
critical second Club switch.
No more entry for the squeeze.
"Well done, partner !" you gush.
"You too, pard," South said — with considerably less
enthusiasm.
Board 27: Denouement
|
Dummy
K x x x x
| K Q x x
| K Q
| A J
|
|
Pard
A Q
| x x x
| x x x x
| 10 9 8 x
|
|
Declarer won partner's Club lead in hand with ♣K, and
immediately led ♠10.
Hoping that your only HCP would be ♠J, partner played the ♠Q.
Declarer thought for a while, looked at both of you, and
then wondered if the Theory of Restricted Choice applied in a
case where so many poor players would panic and play the Ace
here.
Knowing that, in this case at least, the Theory made
more mathematical sense than common sense, Declarer made the
expert's choice here: he played ... small !
You deposited your singleton ♠J under partner's ♠Q,
and watched as Declarer conceded down one.
Upon seeing your partner's ♠A, Declarer became effusive
in his praise for the defence.
As you chorus your own
approval, your partner engages Declarer in a discussion of the Theory.
Declarer explains that, had he known he was
playing against an expert opponent, he'd have applied the
TRC and played ♠K.
After all, he argued, the "relevant holdings are ♠AQ, ♠AJ and ♠QJ in your hand.
2-to-1 to rise with the King".
"How," your partner asks politely, "is ♠AJ in my hand
a relevant holding, once I play ♠Q ?"
Declarer went ashen white, hearing your partner challenge
orthodoxy.
"It's like Monty Hall on «Let's Make a Deal»," Declarer
explained indulgently.
"You make a 1-in-3 guess and, assuming you haven't chosen the booby prize goat, Monty shows you the goat and offers to let you switch.
Your chances haven't improved since the original choice.
You should switch.
The odds are 2-to-1.
Showing you a herd of goats won't change that.
Simple."
"But what if you chose the goat originally ? Isn't the game over before it begins ?"
Before Declarer can respond, your partner looks at his
watch and then out the window at the evening sky.
He thanks you warmly for the game, excuses himself and leaves.
Epilogue
No one saw the stranger after that night.
You ask around.
Did anyone know where he came from ? Where he went to ? No.
The game just hasn't been the same since.
These days, you come out to the duplicate club only for evening sessions.
Once there, you insist on sitting North-South near the window.
On this particular night, your eyes glaze over as you tune out
your partner's droning about how well he just executed a Stepping Stone Squeeze.
You turn your head and stare out at the heavens.
For a moment your gaze is captured by a bright star in a far-off constellation.
It flashes twice in tune with your heartbeat ...
... and disappears.
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